And so it came to pass that the mother in law did return from whence she came and there was a great rejoicing and happiness. The sun it shone and birdies made with the twittering, not the social media type but the cheep cheep sort that they do when they’re feeling happy and possibly a bit fruity. Even so, things were not as they once were for she had left her dark mark and basically buggered up our plan. With something akin to churchillian authority she announced that we should become the proud owners of Brecon Buff geese and she would gift these geese to us as a boon and favour for it was within her demonic powers. Randomly tossing crispy tenners onto the dining room table we were instructed to procure said geese from the internet. Easier said than done but when you’re under orders from such a malevolent being you do what you’re told.

Having sanctified the house of the mother in laws evil presence four goose eggs duly arrived and we set upon the incubator with gusto. We’ve never encountered a goose egg before and its fair to say they came as a bit of a surprise in the size department. They were massive and big all over and worse still they wouldn’t fit in the incubator with the other hatching eggs that were on the go. Like an expensive eggy episode of the Krypton factor we shuffled and moved them this way and that. Foiled by this cunning 3D puzzle we went on the scrounge. Knocking on doors of friends and in some cases strangers alike we asked for alms in the form of a warm wobbling box. And would you believe it, they were all using their incubators for their own purposes, the nerve! A single course of action left to us, we got on the phone and ordered another incubator for the best part of 200 quid. As we put the phone down we could swear we could hear a distant dark chuckling from far off.

And so here we are, the new incubator rocks silently to and fro in the bathroom like the devils cradle. If ever there was going to be a gaggle of geese with evil intent, its going to be this lot.